By Jaidyn Johnson
Fall 2023
Domestic violence is most common in intimate relationships between people, whether that is between family members or a significant other. Domestic violence is known as “a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.” Domestic violence includes a lot of different things like manipulation, terrorizing, blaming, threatening, injuring, hurting, and even wounding another person.
In 2018, it shows that about 280 women were shot and killed by a significant other while arguing. Two hundred eighty women killed just by arguing is a mind-blowing thing to think about. Oklahoma is ranked number 3 for the highest homicide rate among female victims killed by a male. Women usually range the ages of 16 to 24 with the highest risk of domestic violence. Domestic violence tends to happen in hidden places like your home, at night, or anywhere where there are no witnesses. 53% of victims were abused by someone they knew, 60% of rape crimes have happened between a casual or ongoing relationship, and about 13% of women in college were stalked by either a current or former ex-boyfriend. With these statistics, it is clear that they are high but they could be much higher because in many cases a lot of women are too terrified to report anything that happened out of fear of the outcome.
The thing about domestic violence is that it is usually a gradual thing, and it doesn’t always have to be physical. A lot of times, it starts with arguing and name-calling, and then they begin to threaten things and say some pretty mentally abusive things. You start to get shoved or pushed around, a slap across the face, or, in many cases, you are punched or beaten. There are a lot of things that people don’t understand what is considered Domestic violence or abuse. It can be a life-threatening thing that can cause death or breaking of bones, or maybe the use of weapons.
How does this affect college students, and what is OSU doing to help future students? Overall, college is hard for students because you are away from your home and people you know. I think it is easier if you are leaving an abusive relationship at home and being able to start someplace new, but what if the abuser comes onto campus or you don’t feel safe anywhere you go? What if you get into a relationship that is abusive and or dangerous, and you don’t know where to go or who to go to for help? In these cases, most women are too scared to step forward and get help. Support on campus, which includes staff members, other students, organizations, or programs, can help anyone in need. Luckily, Oklahoma State University has a lot of options for Domestic violence and Abuse.
Many counseling and therapy places are on or near campus and are more than happy to help, but there is most likely a waiting list. So, if someone needs help immediately, there are many hotline numbers and websites they can call or visit while waiting for counseling. For example, Wings of Hope is an incredible place for any crisis needs. It is free for everyone, so there is no need to worry about not affording the cost or if your insurance will cover the bill because it is accessible to everyone who is in need of help. They provide shelters, counseling, advocacy for legal matters, sexual assault, parent education, and legal assistance. You can always go about getting a protective order against the abuser but the best way to get a good outcome is outside of campus. Even though going to law enforcement on campus helps investigate the problem and protect students, they can not legally do anything like take the abuser to jail. Hence, the best option is to go to law enforcement outside of campus.
Domestic violence is most familiar with women being the victim, but in this day and age, it can be anyone between homosexual relations and heterosexual relationships. It can happen to anyone and can take many shapes and forms of abuse. It is essential to let students know there is always a place for them to go when needed. With OSU, I think they needed to make a mandatory course for all crises students had to complete at the beginning of the year. Think about how many students are silent and too scared to come out and say they need help. OSU can lead current students to step up and not be afraid to speak up for their safety. This is a subject that needs to be taught and told out loud. OSU needs to project the importance of domestic violence or any other severe crisis to help prevent these problems in the near future and for future students.
Domestic violence can be such a mentally exhausting thing for so many people, especially for young students who are so new to the world and just now starting out being young adults. You never really realize how much it can drain you mentally or even physically until you leave the relationship. How much stress, anxiety, and depression can cause, and even then, you have to deal with everything that comes after the breakup or having to leave the relationship in general. There are a lot of long-term effects that the abusers cause, like chronic pain, an eating disorder, insomnia, and many other mental health problems.
The victim is known to be stocked and followed by the abuser. They are usually narcissistic and have control over other people, especially the victim, and will do anything not to let them go and get out of their control. Generally, after a case of domestic violence happens to someone and they can get out of the situation, you always need to come up with a safety plan, always be aware of your surroundings, and never go anywhere by yourself. It sucks that you have to live your life like that, but that is the reality of a victim’s life after a case like this.
Everyone experiences a traumatizing event at some point in their lifetime, but it is up to each person to decide whether to get help and fix the situation. Helping others understand that you will be scared and nervous at first, but in the long run, you will benefit tremendously and overcome this traumatizing situation for future relationships.
Domestic violence is a pretty serious thing in Oklahoma and is something I have personally experienced in my own life. This subject is something that I think more people need to talk about and be more educated and more aware of how serious this is and how many people it affects in their everyday lives. Writing this now is a way for me to raise awareness of domestic violence and hopefully help others who have been affected by this abuse.
In conclusion, you can see how vital domestic violence is, what the causes and effects are, and how essential it is for more people to understand and learn about domestic violence so maybe someone can be prepared or aware of signs in the future or help someone they know who may be going through this experience. I hope that this has opened many minds on Domestic violence and what exactly it is. And OSU, well, they are stepping up into health and wellness, especially because today, mental health is becoming more normalized and making more people feel more comfortable talking about that subject and their problems. No one should feel ashamed or judged for their feelings and should feel comfortable talking to someone no matter the circumstances. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you or someone you know ever feels you need help. I can see a bright future on OSU’s campus and a future for upcoming OSU students.
Work Cited
Violence Policy Center, “When Men Murder Women” An Analysis of 2018 Homicide date https://vpc.org/studies/wmmw2020.pdf When Men Murder Women was also supported by generous gifts from David and Ellen Berman, Selena Deckelmann, Lisa Eisenacher, Olivia Hartsell, Leslie Koved, Justin Lehmann, and other Violence Policy Center supporters. (PP 1-7)
Health Place, “Effects of Domestic Violence, Domestic Abuse on Women and Children” Medically Reviewed by Harry Croft, MD https://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/domestic-violence/effects-of-domestic-violence-domestic-abuse-on-women-and-children December 31, 2021
Charles R. Ullman & Associates attorneys at law, “Domestic Violence at College and Universities” https://www.charlesullman.com/nc-family-law-resources/resources-for-domestic-violence-for-students/domestic-violence-colleges-universities
archiveoklahoma.com 